The last time I died

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I’ve made it to today
Left behind my yesterday
But I think about the past
The scars leave me with memories
Remember when I died?
Not physically but mentally
My patience always tried
But all of you just left me here

I wither in the wind
Tossed around like leaves in fall
Our love, it does begin
Glad it brings no pain at all
Because I’m about to break
For goodness’ sake I will debate
Our lives are nothing more than fate
And there’s so much to appreciate

Now I’m looking in your eyes
You’ve helped erase years I despise
It’s like I’m in disguise
Each day with you is a surprise
Each time I sigh it’s because you smile
Each breath I take, it’s been a while
Each time my hands brush across your skin
Each glance we trade, I forget my sins

I want to forget days we didn’t share
Because nobody has really cared
Despite the fact you weren’t there
I always tried to keep my hope
Dreams would show me you were close
A distant view of what I need most
Kept dear to heart memories to come
Your eyes burned into eternity

To understand just what I think
Would be a task that’s out of grasp
My mind complex like nothing else
Lack of control brinks me to the brink
I died last time, and I’ll die again
Because everything is meant to end
But until that time, my love I’ll send
As I watch you turn into a lover and a friend

These words are nothing but a myth
As pessimism is what I think with
I can’t accept joy just as a gift
All good things seem to diminish
Maybe it’s because I’ve never tried
Or maybe it’s because my heart has died
So even though my emotions fade
You, my love, I’d never trade

In time I will repair the wounds
That time has opened while I live
Weathered body, mind and soul
I hope this time I stay alive
Because I’ve waited forever for you to arrive
Maybe I need you in order to revive
My life I’m struggling to survive.

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